Absorb The Change!!

There will always be conflict between generations. The older generation is expected to change with the times. They are made to believe that their archaic thinking is not in sync with modern trends. The younger lot, on the other hand, is expected to follow in the elders footsteps. Our thinking is largely shaped by our family, school and workplace. While change is inevitable and our thoughts keep evolving with the changing times, there are some traits that do not lose their relevance even with the passage of time honesty, empathy, integrity, compassion, tolerance, humility and respect. In that case, should such universal norms also change? And if so, what could be the implications?

To be a parent is a challenging task, especially in these times of rapid change. Having traveled and lived in different parts of the world, I believe that we are in a new age, in which the new generation has a new outlook. Its approach to life, people and the environment is dominated by a more detached and practical approach, with less idealism and more cynicism. Fundamental values have a place only if these fit in with their lives, rather than their lives being designed around these values.

Parents must accept this change in a childs attitude. Wise parenting lies in instilling basic values in children, keeping in mind their changing mindset and adapting one's approach accordingly. A sensible approach would be to accept that society will and should change, hopefully for the better. Accepting change while inculcating core values is the key to sound parenting. The early years are crucial to instill fundamental universal values in a child. It is these values that will last a lifetime. Weakness on the part of parents in inculcating these basic values will mean the next generation will behave worse, possibly showing disrespect to parents and grossly abusing parental support solely to fulfill personal desires. Todays children watch parental behaviour closely. Leading by example is the only mantra that can work. Children increasingly tend to question authority and this change must be accepted and handled by parents and teachers.
A child may mock ones old-fashioned values because they may not fit into his/ her way of thinking, or interfere with his/her plans, but it is only possible to impart values to children if the parents lives are governed by the same principles.

Parents have to exemplify what they want their child to be. Children dont respect and believe their parents just because they are their parents. In our modern times, the authoritarian parent has had to move into the role of friend. The openness that comes with such sharing is an advantage, but it can also result in an overly casual attitude towards parents. It is very different from times gone by when the parent's wish was the childs command and the parents authority was unquestioned. Wise parenting means practicing ones beliefs, keeping ones your values strong and voicing them in context even as one accepts positive changes in a child's so long as his/her basic values are intact.

It is not necessarily a problem if todays child want to be independent in views and behaviour from a very early age. For instance, even the motivation to make money need not be seen as against family values so long as he/she tries to get rich using methods that remain within the framework of fundamental values. It is only by accepting that times change that parents can perceive this as a forward movement by a young and dynamic generation. But there is a lot to frighten the older generation.

For instance, young people's tendency to live life luxuriously without a thought for tomorrow or any apparent appreciation of all that it took to create wealth and opportunity. It is frightening to see the easy arrogance that comes with the next generation's easy access to money and consumer goods.

Young people appear to take for granted all the comforts and luxuries provided by parents. Often enough, one hears parents claim that they have brought up their kids in the best possible manner even if it meant bribing someone, or lying or being dishonest. But shouldnt parents stop and think about the dangerous effects of their children indirectly benefiting from dishonesty. Parents need to confront these issues. They have nothing to do with changing times. They have everything to do with sound basic values. Such matters need to be thrashed out delicately with children. This can only happen if a parent spends enough time with his/her child.

HOME TRUTHS
* The early years are crucial to instill fundamental universal values in a child. It is these values
that will last him/her a lifetime.
* Children increasingly tend to question authority and this change must be accepted and
handled by parents and teachers.
* In our modern times, the authoritarian parent has had to move into the role of friend. The
openness that comes with this is an advantage.

As any parent will agree, it is always easier to say yes than no to ones child. It is easier to agree than disagree. But it is unwise to take the easy way out. It is wise to recognize how exactly society has changed. Sometimes, money has replaced family time. Sometimes, modern parents are too self-absorbed to pay attention to their children. Whatever the problem, the best parenting is by example. Give way on everything else, but not on fundamental values. Howsoever fashionable the values of the day, it is only the basics handed down the generations that can keep society rooted and on the right path.

Change is inevitable but it should be positive. There is no argument but that change must occur. But change must never be allowed to affect core moral values.

With best regardsYours sincerely

Dr. R. M. SAWANT
M.Sc. Ph.D.

What are good family values to have?

by Ann Scott

In today's world we need to have some family values, and we need to teach these values to our children. Family values are just as important today as they were in days gone by, or possibly more so, since many people do not, seemingly, have these necessary values. The most important values, in my opinion, are honesty, loyalty, courtesy, obedience, respect, and concern for other people's feelings.

When I was growing up, my parents always taught me, first of all, obedience and respect for them and for all my elders. I was taught to say please, and thank you. These are respectful phrases that will let others know that they are important, too. Everyone needs to feel that they are a part of the human community, therefore, we as human beings need to show courtesy and kindness to others to help them feel a part.

Most of the time, it is the way people are treated in society that makes them do some of the terrible things that they do. Of course, their childhood rearing plays a big part, also.
You might say, how does having these values help me? Let me try to explain some of the ways. First of all, when you help others and treat them right, it makes you feel good about yourself. You feel better, then when you are kind of others it makes them feel better, so all are happier individuals. When you do kind things to other people, it makes them more prone to do good things to others.

I think that a child should be taught respect for their elders because there are will always be people who are older than you are, and those folks deserve our respect. They have lived life and suffered all the hardships that we are going through, already. Many times they have no one to care for and love them, and if we are kind to them it will place a smile on their face. I, for one, had rather be around someone with a nice smile than to have to be around an old grouch. I think that most folks feel that way, also, if they will be honest.

Obedience should be taught, also, because there is always going to be someone that you will, more or less, need to listen to and follow their instructions. If you ever have to work on a public job, more than likely you will have someone who is in a position that is above yours. You will have to listen to what he/she tells you to do if you expect to keep your job. A child who has never been taught to be obedient will not be able to function in society as they ought to.

Honesty is another value that is very important. Do youenjoy dealing with people who are very quick to tell you that they will do something, but never carry it out. It won't be long until you won't believe anything that they tell you. Honesty and loyalty go hand in hand. Loyalty involves keeping your word no matter what, or being sure to let the other person know why you can't. I have had people tell me they would meet me somewhere at a certain time, or that they would do a certain thing, and then they did not keep their word and never even let me know why they didn't. It is frustrating, to say the least, and it makes you feel as if they didn't think that your time was very important. Trust is very important between individuals, and you soon learn who you can and who you can't place your confidence in.

I believe that it is very important that everyone learn to be caring and concerned about other people. When we show concern for others we are showing concern for God and his word. God loves everyone, so therefore we are required, by Him, to love others. In fact, His word teaches us to love even our enemies and to do good to them.

If we want friends we must be a friend. We were created to need the fellowship and friendship of other people. We do not have to like everyone's ways and we do not have to be friends with everyone but we must treat all people with respect if we expect to be able to communicate with and live in harmony with other people. There are all types of personalities, and many do not get along well, but I believe that if we are kind and considerate of others, we will be able to at least tolerate one another, without major problems, for the times that we must be in each other's company.